What I'd Tell a Friend Who Wants to Start Switching

A lot of people I know are starting to dabble in the crunchy. I've had conversations with friends about the takeout containers, the air freshener plug-ins, the forever chemicals in diapers and wipes. I'm always so excited when someone asks me where to start. I really appreciate the willingness to say, hey, maybe there's something to this and maybe I can improve my health and environmental impact.

The first thing I want to say is: you're already doing the hardest part, which is caring enough to look into it. The second thing I want to say is: slow down. You don't need to overhaul your house this weekend. You really don't.

Start by Removing, Not Replacing

Here's what surprised me most when I started making changes: most of the things I thought I needed to find "clean" versions of, I didn't need at all. We don't need seven types of soap with seven different names. We don't need dryer sheets and fabric softener and wrinkle release spray and linen spray. We definitely don't need a different cleaning product for every surface in the house (I wrote a whole post about that).

Before you spend a single dollar on a non-toxic replacement, walk through your house and ask yourself what can just go. That's free. And it's the fastest win you'll get.

Try going without things that seem impossible to live without—plastic wrap, paper towels, whatever it is. I know that sounds dramatic, but once you actually run out and don't buy more, you realize how quickly you figure out a workaround. A plate on top of a bowl. A cloth you toss in the wash. It feels like a big deal until it doesn't.

Then when you're ready. Check out our swap guide for where to begin incorporating new clean products.

Start with Fragrance and Plastics

If you want a first real target, start with fragrance. It's in everything—soap, lotion, candles, detergent, trash bags—and it's one of the biggest sources of phthalates in your home. Fragrance is also one of the easiest things to eliminate because unscented versions of most products already exist and cost about the same (just be sure to check that the unscented version does not have the words fragrance or parfum on the ingredient list. Many horrors hide behind that one "ingredient").

While you're at it, take a look at the synthetic clothes you're not sure about anyway. The polyester tops you don't love, the kids' pajamas that pill after two washes. Donate or consign them.

And please throw away all of those microfiber cloths. They are, as advertised, made out of microfibers. Micro-plastic fibers. Yes, they are made out of microplastics that shed everywhere.

Plastics are an incredible invention and also a source of a whole lot of the household toxins we're dealing with. But here's the thing—people solved most of these problems before plastic existed, and it really wasn't that long ago. Glass jars, cast iron, cotton, beeswax. The solutions aren't exotic. They're just old. Sometimes the answer to "what's the non-toxic version of this?" is the thing your grandma already used.

Think About the Basics First

Food. Water. Skin. Air. These are the things your body absorbs the most of, and they're surprisingly actionable. Can you open your windows more? Can you filter your water? Can you read ingredient labels and cut out food dyes? Can you get outside with your kids instead of defaulting to screen time when the afternoon drags? (I'm talking to myself here too).

You don't need a $1000 air purifier right now or maybe ever. You need to ask yourself: what would somebody have done about this fifty years ago? A hundred years ago? The answer is often simpler and cheaper than whatever the wellness internet is selling you.

You Can Only Pick Two

There's a rule I think about a lot: between convenient, affordable, and non-toxic, you can only pick two. It's real. The convenient non-toxic option is usually expensive. The affordable non-toxic option usually takes more effort. And the convenient, affordable option is usually the one with the questionable ingredients. Once you accept this, it takes a lot of the stress out. You're just making trade-offs, the same way you do with everything else in life.

Don't Start with the Things You Love

Don't go after your favorite candle or your beloved nonstick pan or whatever it is that you love and use every day. If it stresses you out to use it because of what you now know, it's okay to say goodbye. Otherwise, start with the stuff that's easy to let go of—the products you don't use or don't have strong feelings about, the ones you barely think about when you reach for them. Cleaning supplies, trash bags, hand soap. The low-hanging fruit.

You'll get to the harder stuff eventually. I promise. But you'll get there because you want to, not because you forced yourself before you were ready.

A Few Things That Helped Me

Ask yourself questions before you buy. Do I actually need the expensive clean version, or can I go without entirely? Is there a simpler solution I'm overlooking? You can always ask us. That's why Ask Old Ways exists.

Keep a running list of things you want to switch eventually, but don't try to do them all at once. When something runs out, that's your moment to decide: do I replace this with a better option, or do I just not replace it?

And please, look back every once in a while. You will never be perfect at this. I'm not. I have a polyester and foam ball pit with 1000 plastic balls in my playroom and my kids eat glyphosate-residue Cheerios 2x/week at church. But when I look at where we started versus where we are now, I am proud of how far we have come. We cook on cast iron, eat food I make from scratch, clean with vinegar and soap, and dress ourselves in cotton, linen, and wool. That didn't happen overnight. It happened one small decision at a time over years.

You're Not Behind

If you're reading this and feeling like everyone else is further along, they may be or they may not, but they started exactly where you are right now. Begin with less, not more. Remove before you replace. Give yourself grace, and keep going.

You're not trying to be perfect. You're trying to make better choices for your family, and you already are.